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You are all just sheep to me...
and I have a kilt...
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Simon
Just stuff in general. Not necessarily about stuff I've written or a comment if you've added me to your friends list.





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21st-Jun-2009 05:09 pm - On Iran
Simon
Dear Rest Of The World,

You have no idea what the protesters in Iran are protesting.

Please stop shoving your ideals and agendas sown their throats.

Please find out what they are angry about before using words like 'revolution' and 'freedom'.

On that note, I would be more than happy to see the ruling Oligarchy deposed, but I will not start chanting that this is a "democratic uprising" by the oppressed masses. This is not some rise of atheism against the cruel auspices of Islam. This is not what you think it is.

Thanks,

Simon
2nd-Jun-2009 08:07 pm - Sometimes, I Wax Poetic...
Simon
Like when someone just recently mentioned a place where she used to work. I know the area. This is how I described it.

"River Rouge? That's the place where Hell vomited onto the Earth after a night of binge drinking Draino and rancid yogurt. When the wind shifts, it's even worse. Think 'cattle yard'."
26th-May-2009 03:41 pm - On Lolcats
Simon
Vote for this horrible beast.

http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=4276027
25th-May-2009 06:47 pm - Memorial Weekend
Simon
So, this has been my weekend thus far.

http://tinyurl.com/pgsnua

Before the road trip, we did go up to Mount Clemens for a gun/computer show. I fell asleep though, so we only were able to get there at 8:30, a half an hour before they closed. We grabbed some pepper spray for Vs mom and a can of compressed air. Then we drove home again.

Next day was the road trip We drove to the other side of the State.

We drove past Novi with lots of fast food and easy access to the highway because of concerns of heavy traffic. Instead, we continued on to Milford, which was 5 miles off the highway and they lied about having an Arbys there. We then went to Howell, because I hadn't noticed that the gas was so low. Howell allows you to get off the highway, but not back on, so it was surface roads and stop lights.

D. was a Pentecostal Mexican church. I decided to go wash the car while I waiting. I haven't been able to really scrub the car down since it's still not been fixed since the wreck. I did scrape some more of the mud off of it from the incident w while back where he wound up wheel deep in mud.

E. Was in Zeeland. In a library. What a wild and crazy bunch THAT was! Part monsters!
Good food though. V would suffer later for eating all that meat.

Man, Zeeland... I can see why so many of my friends have been happy to escape that place. Nice place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit there. I saw some guy winding up the streets at 6 PM sharp. Congrats to you guys who have made it to civilized places!

F. was back to Holland to download pics and pepper spray. We stayed late, until we decided it was time to leave. 4 hours on the road again.

G. was another debacle at Arbys. This time there was yelling, swearing and finger gestures. The local manager called me and said he'd address the problem. And send me coupons.

Somewhere between G. and I. there were several stops where V paid for her meat crimes.

Four o'clock in the morning, we staggered home.

Never did go back to the gun show.

Today, we went to get some Chinese food.

I'm going insane, just sitting here. I think I'll go out before I become a permanant fixture on this chair.
24th-May-2009 07:00 pm - Dear Arbys...
Simon
Coming home from a wedding shoot last night, I had a problem which the employees at your Plainwell, MI store helped me solve. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to stay awake on the trip home. The employees at the drive-thru were so rude and insulting that my rage kept me more than wide awake during the entire trip.

It was 12:45 AM, all of the lights were on and we had just saw another car pull away from the drive-thru. Minutes passed with us waiting, after the automatic greeting that I caught the tail end of when I pulled up. One phrase by a male voice, loaded with rare condescension and derision, rarely seen outside of a Saturday Night Live routine, barked at me with practiced condescension "Is there something I can help you -locate-?" Mere words have trouble conveying antagonistic desmesnes being attemptted by this person.

I have rarely faced such a blatant attempt at antagonistic bad manners in my life. My partner, who speaks Russian, learned in short order how a tirade is hurled in American swearing, before I realized I was yelling at a box with laughter coming form it. I have little recall of the tempest that I unleashed, but apparently the words that were coherent to her were "snide", "pretentious" and "condescending". I offer no apology for my tirade as such a demeanor would be responded to, in a less civilized society, at 20 paces at dawn.

I was driven even angrier still when driving away, I saw one person, medium length blond hair, peeking (peeking!) around the corner at me, smirking, making rude one-fingered finger gestures, then waving as to say 'go away'. I responded in kind with my own gestures, one fingered, with spinning gestures.

Suffice it to say that I will post this on my various websites, but I am sure that customer opinion is not high on your list of priorities, as return customers is an ideal you not only avoid, but actively work against.
12th-May-2009 12:49 am - On Being Poisoned.
Simon
So, V nearly killed me the other day.

First, she has been making orange Kool-Aid™ lately.

She also tends to leave food half finished out on the counter.

I, like the cat, treat any untended left overs as fair game.

So, when I woke Saturday morning and staggered into the kitchen, I saw a half full glass of orange Kool-Aid™.

I generally don't function well until I get food and water in me.

So I had no real reason to suspect that it was anything but Kool-Aid™ until the second swallow, which was when my throat burst into searing pain.

--------------------------

The day before, people had been out to look at the central air. One of the guys had asked for some dish soap to help him find a leak. Our dish soap is orangey in color...

Needless to say, I will never trust a drinking glass, half full, left on the counter again.

I still feel the pain in my stomach muscles as I tried, in vain to puke up the contents of the drinking glass. What made it worse was the casual voice of V, from the bedroom, asking every minute or so if I was okay, between the attempted volleys of bile and orangey freshness.

Thus, for the rest of the day, I wasn't feeling my best. V, when she was convinced that I was in jeopardy as opposed to my normal little cough at drinking something too fast, raced to the Internet to see if I needed to go to a doctor. She may have even only glanced at her email first.

She was greatly relieved that her quick research revealed that I probably wasn't going to die, and indeed, I would soon be farting bubbles for her enjoyment. Dr. Mengela would have been proud of her bedside manner.
28th-Apr-2009 02:07 pm - Beautiful... 1:10 scale Saturn V
Simon
Perfect launch, perfect flight, perfect recovery.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj4lj6YSwzg

Surplus cargo chutes, with one redundant chute not opening, but still, this bird went 444 feet beyond its maximum designed altitude and landed on its tail!

http://www.popularmechanics.com/home_journal/workshop/4315103.html?nav=RSS20&src=syn&dom=yah_buzz&mag=pop
25th-Apr-2009 06:30 pm - I love you, Internet!
Simon
http://autorepair.about.com/od/quicktips/qt/tire_lug_break.htm

There's a trick to freeing a stuck-on wheel that almost never fails. You already have the lugs removed, but now reinstall them leaving about 5 turns before they start to get snug. Now lower the car to the ground, get in and start it up. Drive back and forth 4 or 5 feet a few times. Now jack the car up and test the wheel. It should be nice and loose now, ready for you to replace with your spare so you can move on down the road.
OMG!
http://www.rocketryplanet.com/content/view/2829/30/

On April 25, 2009, history will be made. At Higgs Farm in Price, Maryland, Steve Eves will enter the history books as the person who flew the largest model rocket in history. The rocket will weigh over 1,600 pounds, it will stand over 36 feet tall and it will be powered by a massive array of nine motors: eight 13,000ns N-Class motors and a 77,000ns P-Class motor. The estimated altitude of this single stage effort will be between 3,000 and 4,000 feet and the project will be recovered at apogee. In a special to Rocketry Planet, author Mark B. Canepa and ROCKETS Magazine wish to share Steve Eve's story with the readers here.

15th-Apr-2009 10:41 pm - On Doctor Who
esplode
I just watched the Doctor Who Easter special. Not bad. What got me though, is if you watch the credits all the way through, you hear the Cloister Bell ring.

The Cloister Bell...
11th-Apr-2009 02:08 pm - On Piracy
Simon
Dear President Obama.

I have a solution to the piracy problem off of the Horn of Africa.

Q Ships.
9th-Apr-2009 11:18 pm - On Superpowers
Simon
Glommed from glamazonwarrior who stole it from someone else.

1. Please reply to this post and tell me, in your own words, what you think *my* superpowers are.
2. I will reply and tell you what I think your superpowers are.

Everyone is a superhero (or supervillain). Not everyone knows it yet. ;)
8th-Apr-2009 01:54 am - On Beauty
Simon
While talking about Rodin tonight, I looked at the picture of She Who Was the Helmet-Maker’s Beautiful Wife. I glanced at it and saw for the first time how she was supposed to be seen. Just a glance and a flicker and then gone. But I saw.

28th-Mar-2009 06:47 pm - On Food
Simon
When fish sticks make a schlooorp sound when you pick them up off of the baking tray, that's not a good thing, is it?
27th-Mar-2009 06:38 pm - Hmmm...
Jedi Mind Trick
Angels are supposed to be androgynous. No male or female bits.

Would they be angry at mankind for this?

Spiritual penis envy?
24th-Mar-2009 12:51 pm - On Happiness
Simon
There is nothing quite inherently happy-making as a snoring cat sprawled out at your feet.
21st-Mar-2009 09:00 pm - On The Hoff.
Simon
Sometimes, you find something that is just so mind numbingly... numbing... that you just must share it with everyone. Thus, this is for you, my readers. I bring you David Hasselhoff singing Hooked On A Feeling.

Seriously; you need to watch this!

20th-Mar-2009 02:32 pm - What does the Koran say about liars?
Simon
Sheikh Halali, a controversial Muslim cleric, who said uncovered women are like displaying raw meat, reported to the police that his mosque was vandalized. A door had been kicked open.

Apparently he forgot about the security camera.

Showing the Sheikh kicking the door open.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjUhzueu0io
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